Apparently This is all NORMAL

I think it's funny that counselors and therapists keep telling us what we are saying and experiencing is "normal". I wonder how that can be. It doesn't seem normal to me. I know what we are going through is not normal. Perhaps the feelings we are having now as a result are. Does this make sense to anyone else?



What is a normal life experience? They say it is different for everyone. I am really starting to dislike the word normal. What was normal for me, isn't anymore. Our society generalizes just about everything and you can bet that just about everything you can conceive is "normal" now days. From clothing, (thanks Gap and Old Navy) to marriage and family relationships, the homes we buy, the food we eat, the media we read, watch and listen to. Everything is geared toward generalization. We should all be normal. But we aren't.



Which brings me to where we are today. We are waiting to get reports back from the state which they say will tell us psychologically what is going on with our son. Then the state will make a recommendation to the court where to place him and for how long. They have determined already that he can never live in our home again. And that since he is a minor he needs "treatment". They say studies show, if caught early enough, there is a 60-70% chance of recovery for juveniles. I am sure they are correct if they are talking about "normal" situations. I can't help but think that our situation is not "normal".



I have been asked the question several times now if it was just "teenage curiosity". My answer is HELL NO! There is nothing curious or innocent about rape. Whether you are 14 or 41. I believe without a doubt someone willing to forcibly have sex with a child or anyone is not "normal" in their thinking or actions. And telling me that there is a 60% chance for recovery is not reassuring.



I have been told because he is a juvenile that he has certain rights he would not have if he were prosecuted as an adult. The biggest example being that we need to do everything possible to make him a productive member of society. Excuse me? What about the whole you can lead the horse to water thing? Have we not already failed at every attempt to make this person do the right things? Has that not already been examined and reexamined a thousand times before now?



We have done and said EVERYTHING we could to teach this child right from wrong and he chose wrong anyway. Knowing full well what he we was doing was WRONG. That is why he made his sister pinkie promise not to tell ever. He manipulated her just as an adult offender would do. It was calculated and cunning. He knew exactly what he was doing. I have a problem with the way the state is looking at this crime. And that there is so much time ans effort being placed on him, the offender, to give him every chance to "recover". Where is the justice in that?



He will most likely plead down from several felony counts, to a couple of misdemeanors so that he can be treated. Not punished, in a facility that is not locked, where they can not keep him against his will and he is free to leave if he chooses. Problem perhaps? Our society is now breeding a whole generation of people that think they are above consequences and right fully so. We can keep expecting offenders to get younger and younger.

I get emails all the time that say very plainly what is wrong with our society now days and some DISCIPLINE is in order. What comes to mind is one email in particular that stated since we have taken God out of our society, there is no longer prayer in school and what do we have instead? Shootings and death. We are not teaching ethics and morals. We are not teaching tolerance and understanding. We are teaching quite the opposite. We have an epidemic of violence being perpetrated by juveniles, the worst of which includes homicide. We do not understand as a society what is going wrong? Doctor Spock said that we should not spank our kids because it hurts their self esteem, and yet his own son committed suicide. ? Shouldn't there be some checks and balances here? Where is common sense anymore? Isn't there still right and wrong? I guess not. There is only "normal".