If we had only understood the dangers of the Internet, before any signs were present, perhaps we could have been more aware of the hold that pornograpghy had on our son and taken more precautions to enusre that he would not rape his sister. I had found evidence, years ago, that adult websites had been viewed on our computer. I assumed the worst and asked my husband about them. He never had time to pay our bills online, let alone use the Internet to view porn. We assumed it could not have been our son, because there was no way he knew the pass words, or had the ability to get around the software in place to prevent the viewing of any sexual content. We thought we had done all the right things. Our computer was in the family room, a highly visible place. The monitor faced into the room, so what was being view could be seen by everyone in the room. We had set up firewalls, and what we thought were other preventative measures. These things were supposed to make it so that anything with sexual content was not able to be viewed..or downloaded at all.
The thing we didn't realize is just how smart kids are about computers. They have grown up with them, their entire lives are built around this technology. They know how they work and how to get what they want from them. I had no idea that our son would know how to get around all the protections we had in place. It was a joke. If you think you have passwords protecting your hardware...think again. If you installed software which would alert you to any activity...and you have seen nothing, this does not mean anything!
One thing we didn't realize, is that although our computer itself had protections in place, our son was able to log onto MSN under guest, or under another name which he had made (because he knew our password and was able to sign as a an administrator on our computer and add or take away anything he wanted to) and was able to surf undetected. he could go anywhere and see anything he wanted, because it wasn't something we even thought to check at the time. I personally didn't know that you have to have separate software...one for your computer itself and one for the Internet.
For years there were signs...like the adult web site thing, and we did not see the connection. We chalked it up to some kind of fluke...looking back it makes me wonder how. We never thought, that there was any way that our child was capable of anything that was so deviant. That was our first mistake.
I found this on Oprah Please take a minute and watch...on the right click the link for Your Child Can be Exploited Online or at the top Click the Tile of today's blog.
I think this says it all. Kids these days are inundated with sex and the idea that it is no big deal. It is everywhere for them. There are millions if not billions of web sites which detail every kind of sex act there is...and your children know this! This was unthinkable to me, and perhaps many of you. With the click of a few buttons, your children can see anything from beastiality to child rape, LIVE.
The thing is, it is not so much about teaching you kids right from wrong, giving them guidelines and rules..as it is making sure that the opportunity for this kind of behavior is not present where they spend most of their unsupervised time. Do you get what I am saying here?
If your kids have webcams in their bedrooms...if they have laptops...if they have phones with Internet capabilities...these are all opportunities for them to see things that they shouldn't. They don't even have to be the ones searching it out, it will find them! That is how it works...OPPORTUNITY. All it takes is one. All sexual abuse starts out innocently enough. Molesters would never have opportunity if they scared their victims right away...it's all about the lure...the set up. The priming can happen right in front of you. It is so subtle that you don't realize what is happening until it is too late.
It can happen to anyone...even you, or your children. It may not happen the same way it happened to us, but never think for a minute that your children are safe from predators if they engage in online chat rooms or have access to the Internet when no one is around. If you are not diligent in your efforts to squash opportunities where predators can find ways to exploit your children, it can and will happen.
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