Coping

The days go by more quickly now, even though it still seems a snail's pace. We are doing everything we can to get counseling and look for the positive. Last night, our bishop came by to see how we are doing. He gave us some great counsel, and we felt his love and concern for our family. I felt the spirit so strongly. He told me that the only way I would find peace and be able to get over what has happened is if I forgive.

This is not news to me. It is the truth. I know it. I have had scripture after scripture running through my head telling me what I have to do. Knowing and doing are two different things. Prayer, prayer and more prayer. That is the order. I can feel my heart softening, though it still aches tremendously. I know with out a doubt that God gives us strength to do what we could not do on our own. He picks up the tab. That's it. Jesus paid the price and suffered like no other. My suffering pales in comparison to His. With this perspective, it seems more possible than ever that there is a way and purpose.

We may never understand, or be able to reason why this has happened. It will never make sense. Willful acts like this rarely do. The only thing that does make sense is that life does go on. We can let this defeat us, or make us stronger. Even though we had choice in the events that took place, we have a choice in how to handle it now. Forgiveness is the answer. It is the only means by which we can gain the strength and comfort we need to survive and be healthy and happy.

The road is long and narrow is the way. I have to keep this in mind. Today is the first time I feel hopeful since this all began. I am so grateful for my faith.